tyger (tygergrrrl) wrote in grrrlsinink,

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Another classic from my inbox

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake entire
Sharon Stone

I discovered that I scream the same way, whether I'm about to be
devoured by a great white shark, or if a piece of seaweed touches my
Axle Rose

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal winner

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either
you have diarrhoea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
Henry Kissinger

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
Courteney Cox, as Monica on Friends

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush

And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on
And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
George Burns

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold
my purse."
Sandra Bullock

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
Jack Nicholson

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs, founder, Apple Computers

Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive scrotum!"
Patricia Arquette

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning "to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
just grateful.
Robert DeNiro

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country men not paying enough attention to
women's breasts?
Hugh Grant

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfield

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams

**I cant believe Barbara Bush said that about Bill Clinton** LOL!!!
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