I discovered that I scream the same way, whether I'm about to be
devoured by a great white shark, or if a piece of seaweed touches my
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and just give her a house.
Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal winner
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either
you have diarrhoea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
Courteney Cox, as Monica on Friends
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on
And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs, founder, Apple Computers
Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive scrotum!"
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning "to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country men not paying enough attention to
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time.
**I cant believe Barbara Bush said that about Bill Clinton** LOL!!!